almost lover
by alittletasteofheaven
Summary: She didn't know it then, but the first time she saw him had been on the streets. — Levi and Petra's story, from beginning to end. — rivetra.


**SNK (c) Isayama Hajime**

**A/N:** There are spoilers for _the event that shall not be named._ Also, as this story is largely based on my headcanons and such, there will be explanations at the bottom if anyone is confused.

* * *

She had first seen him as a young boy on the streets.

She didn't think much of it at the time. After all, she had bigger things to worry about, like focusing on improving her fighting skills so she could join the trainee corps one day. She may have been 11 years old, but she had big aspirations. She wanted to be a soldier, she wanted to fight, and most importantly, she wanted to venture out of the walls. She felt rather suffocated, forced to live inside the protection of fifty meter walls thanks to those rabid human-eating titans. She'd sworn to herself that she'd make them pay for what they'd done to humanity.

She had been walking home after running a few errands for her mother when she spotted him. He was no older than 16, a scruffy young boy sitting beside an alley, staring upwards at the sky. She had seen people like him many times before roaming the streets, but something about him was different.

As she passed him, she noticed the knife sitting innocently at his side, ready to be used at any given moment. She shifted her gaze to look at his face out of the corner of her eye, clearly trying to be discreet but to no avail; he noticed her stare. They locked eyes, and for a moment, time seemed to have stopped for her. The everyday noise of bustling townspeople drowned out as she focused on him, as if he were the only other person in the world. His sharp, inky eyes narrowed slightly and she couldn't help but be captivated by them. She knew in the back of her mind that he was glaring at her, but she didn't care. She couldn't shake off the feeling that those eyes were ones she should remember.

"Petra! What are you doing? Come inside, it's freezing out there!"

She jumped slightly at the sound of her father's voice. She hadn't even realized that she had stopped walking altogether. She squeaked out an apology to the boy before running off to return to her home.

A home that he didn't have anymore.

* * *

She saw him again when she joined the Scouting Legion.

Petra stood proudly among the top ten trainees of her class, the smile on her face almost blindingly bright with joy. She had managed to rank fifth out of over 200 trainees- how could she not be cheerful?

"Today, you are no longer trainees, but proud soldiers. You have all endured three long years of harsh training, and now you will bear the fruit of that training with one of the two branches you must choose from: the Scouting Legion or the Stationary Guard. But, there are some of you here that may choose a third option." The instructor paused to look at the trainees standing in the front of the class, "The ten of you standing there, the top ten of all the trainees here. You have all proved yourself worthy of the highest honor: the invitation to join the Military Police. You will all apply tomorrow for your assignments. From this day forward, the 94th Trainees Squad is disbanded!"

Fists pounded against hearts in proud salutes. "Sir!"

The following day, the Commander of the Scouting Legion stood in front of the graduates. Petra beamed at the sight of the infamous wings of freedom on his uniform jacket. Soon, she'd have the same one displayed on her back.

"I am Keith Shadis, Commander of the Scouting Legion. We have an important job…" his words slowly became more and more distant to Petra's ears as she spotted a few members standing off to the side. A tall, blonde man, a shorter brunette with glasses, and _him._

Her blood froze as her eyes fell on him. The familiar short stature, neat, black hair, his sharp, calculating eyes- he was the boy she saw on the streets four years ago, now grown into a man. She swallowed thickly and quickly averted her eyes back to the commander, silently praying that he does not recognize her. She doubted he would; she had chopped off her hair since then and grew into her features and figure. No longer was she a child- she was now a soldier, ready to take on the world.

"…and this is Captain Irvin Smith and Captain Levi. Should you join us, you will fall under either one of their command."

'_Captain Levi, huh…' _Petra mused. How had he managed to climb that high in rank in just four years, she wondered.

"Now, those who are willing to offer their hearts to fight for humanity, stay here. All others are dismissed."

Hushed whispers were exchanged between graduates. She looked behind her and saw soldiers leaving left and right, dubious looks painted across their faces. She bit her lip and steeled herself to look forward. She would not falter. She had known her decision for years, just waiting for this very moment. She glanced back up to Levi to find him looking back at her, a flash of recognition in his dark eyes. She quickly looked away, finding herself and about fifty other soldiers left standing.

"You are all brave soldiers. I welcome all here to the Scouting Legion. Offer your lives to humanity!"

She pounded her fist to her chest, her posture tall and proud. "Yes, sir!"

* * *

"Hey, you. What's your name?"

Petra jumped, turning from where she was tending to her horse to find none other than Levi standing in front of her. She swallowed nervously and saluted him.

"Petra Ral, sir."

He nodded slightly. "I thought so. You're the one from back then, aren't you." It wasn't a question. It was a statement.

She nodded. Levi sighed.

"Listen up. No one is to know about what you saw. I don't need any of these damn brats heckling me about my past." He poked her on the shoulder with a little more force than necessary. "Is that clear?"

She gulped nervously. "Y-Yes, sir!"

He stared at her for a few more moments, as if considering something. She felt rather small under his scrutinizing gaze, which was rather uncanny, considering he was only a couple inches taller than she was. Her train of thought was broken when she saw Levi offer his hand to her, much to her surprise. She looked down at his hand in confusion before looking back up at his face.

"What? You've heard of a handshake, haven't you?"

"Eh? O-Of course! But…why?"

He only sighed in exasperation. "A formal introduction. We didn't have one back then because some shortie decided to stare me down instead of talking like a regular human being."

She almost laughed at the irony of him calling her a 'shortie'. His statement was rather off-putting, but Petra didn't mind. If anything, his blunt personality only intrigued her more. She took his hand, shaking it firmly with a small smile. "I'm Petra Ral. I look forward to working with you, Captain."

He held onto her hand for a second longer before letting go. "Levi. I have high hopes for you, Petra."

* * *

She didn't know how it all started.

At first, it was just a few subtle touches, extra glances and small smiles. (mostly on her part, anyway.) They had grown closer over the years, with her fighting by his side and reassuring him during his darkest moments, where the severity of the number of deaths had nearly suffocated them. Then, she had been assigned to his elite squad of only three other men, she being the only woman. Somehow, this made her proud. And somewhere along the line, they began seeking each other out in the middle of night as a source of comfort, an escape of sorts. And with every kiss, every searing touch, every heated look- she fell for him harder and harder.

* * *

It was a cool, fall night when she sought out answers.

It had been two weeks since they'd set up camp at the former Scouting Legion headquarters with Eren on board. In one more week, they'd set off on the expedition to retake Wall Maria, probably the most dangerous expedition she'd ever be on to date. She knew there was a possibility she would not come back, and she accepted that. What she couldn't accept, however, was dying without knowing what she and Levi were – and what they could've been.

She knocked on his bedroom door, a lit candle in her hand. "Enter," his muffled voice responded.

She opened the door quietly, setting the candle on a post next to the door before closing it. He was slumped over his desk, most likely writing a report, but she knew him better than that. She saw the tension in his shoulders, the severe grip he had on his pen, and the hidden weariness in his eyes as they met hers. He was stressing out about the mission. He had tried to play it off to the rest of the squad as if this was any other expedition into titan territory, but she saw through him. He doubted himself.

"Petra."

"Captain."

He sighed, putting down his pen. "Didn't I tell you to just call me Levi?"

She sauntered over to him, putting her hands on his tense shoulders, rolling her thumbs against his stiff muscles. She smiled when she saw him visibly relax. "Force of habit I guess, _Levi_." she purred.

She watched in satisfaction as goosebumps formed on his neck. "What do you want?"

"Answers."

He turned, looking at her with a wary expression. "About?"

She sighed, stopping her ministrations to plop herself on his bed. "Us. What exactly is-" she paused, gesturing to the two of them, "_this?_"

He pinched the bridge of his nose. "Petra, this isn't-"

"I know you don't want to talk about this. I know you're stressing about the mission, and don't you lie to me about that. I know it's dangerous for all of us, and I know I might not survive."

He narrowed his eyes at her. "Petra-"

She held up a hand, cutting him off again. "Don't. You know it. But, I don't want to die not knowing what I've spent my time with you for."

Levi averted his eyes, gazing out the window, a faraway look in his eyes. He remained silent for a while before sighing in resignation. "I'm not your lover."

She bit her lip. "I know."

"I can't. Do you know why?" She refused to look at him. "Lovers give each other unspoken vows that they will return to each other, no matter what. I can't give you that. You said it yourself- these goddamn titans could kill me or you anytime."

She heard his steady footsteps approach her, watching out of the corner of her eye as he sat down next to her. "We are not friends. We are not lovers. We are something in between. That's all I can answer."

She had expected this. She heaved a sigh, staring down at the floor. "Tell me, Levi. If we were in another life… would you be my lover?"

She didn't hear him speak for a while. Disappointment curling in her chest, she was just about to leave when Levi spoke again.

"Yes."

Petra felt her heart flutter at his answer, a warm, tingling sensation coursing through her veins. A smile slowly spread on her lips as she stood. "Very well, then." She opened the door to leave, but hesitated as another fleeting thought came to her mind. She turned back to him to see him watching her intently.

"If…if I die, will you promise me something too?"

She watched as surprise and confusion overtook his features before settling into realization. "I will."

She gave him one last smile before leaving. "Thank you."

* * *

An uncompromising feeling of dread filled Levi's chest as he flew through the forest, passing the bodies of his dead comrades as he chased after the sound of Eren's roar. He knew it the moment he saw Gunter dangling from the cord of his gear, the back of his neck sliced open as if he were a titan, not a soldier. He tried to steel himself to not look at their bodies as he passed, yet he couldn't help sparing them a regretful glance from the corner of his eye.

What really got him was the crumpled body of his strawberry blonde comrade against the bottom of a tree, her own blood painted across her face. He slowed, his breath nearly catching in his throat as he looked at her dull, lifeless eyes—eyes that once looked at him with love and admiration. He wanted to remain there, forgetting about chasing the female titan just to stare at her broken body, trying to discern if what he was seeing was real or not.

Fate remained cruel to him though, as another loud roar ripped through the forest, jarring him out of his reverie and reminding him he had a job to do. He allowed himself one last look at her; the woman who comforted him as he lay a soldier to rest, who stayed by his side faithfully, who dedicated her body and soul to him.

"_If I die, will you promise me something too?"_

His eyes nearly stung with tears as he shot his hook into another tree, moving further and further away. He silently vowed to her that he'd find the sorry bitch who dared to kill her and his squad and _make them pay_.

_Soar, Petra, with your wings of freedom._

* * *

**A/N: **My god this is the longest one shot I've ever written. I'm proud of it, if I do say so myself!_  
_

Now, to explain some things:

-Keith Shadis was actually the Scouting Legion's commander before Irvin. He was the one in episode 1 that handed that mother her son's arm wrapped in a cloth. Now, he's the instructor for trainees. If you look closely, you'll see it. Plus, Keith was listed as the Scouting Legion commander in the credits of episode 1. How do I know this? Tumblr. (that place holds all the answers i s2g)

-The thing about Petra seeing Levi on the streets is a headcanon of mine. Petra actually saw Levi on the streets in the past, which is how she knew about it when she was talking to Eren. But, Levi being Levi, told her not to tell anyone so now she just passes it off as a 'rumor' when she's trying to comfort Eren.

-If anyone's confused about the "will you promise me something too?" thing, I saw a post on tumblr drawing a parallel between that soldier's death in episode 9 or something (you know, when Levi and Petra were laying him to rest after he got chewed up?) and Petra's death. Levi promised that soldier that he'd inherit his will and kill all the titans or something along those lines, and of course Petra was there, so she remembered that and wanted to be promised something too.

-I've always imagined that Irvin was a fellow Captain to Levi before he became Commander. I mean, to be promoted to Commander he had to have been highly ranked right? I don't think they'd just pick any soldier.

-I'm sorry if Levi is a bit OOC at times. It's kind of hard to write him in a romantic sense and still keep him as indifferent and stoic. But I tried! I even tried to put some of his classic sass and cursing into his dialogue, haha.

- I've always thought that Levi and Petra weren't too far apart in age. This is just my take, but I see Levi as 28 and Petra 22-23. I find it really hard to believe that Levi is in his 30's when he looks like he's in his mid-twenties, yet Auoro looks like he's in his 30's but he's actually in his late teens. I think Isayama is trolling haha.

Please review and let me know what you think! :)


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